Blog #3 in response to Question C

I found Michael Kimmel’s lecture to be quite interesting because he opened my eyes to many aspects of gender differences that I had not considered before. After watching the entire video, I agree with him that men and women are much more alike than they are different. I don’t agree with John Gray that men and women are so fundamentally different that they might as well be from different planets. I believe that gender roles throughout history have made it appear this way, rather than just anatomical differences. It was interesting to hear the statistics from 1970 and 2005 of how women’s view of men have drastically changed. The data showed that less women view men as considerate, while more women believe that men’s egos require that they put women down. Additionally, a significantly higher percentage of women believe all men really want from a date is to go to bed and that all a man really cares about is his career, rather than his family. I agree with Kimmel that men aren’t actually doing worse than they were 35 years ago, but instead, changes in women’s lives involving identity, work, family, and intimacy have increased the expectations women have for men, resulting in women being more disappointed when the expectations aren’t met.

Our society has experienced a shift in recent decades concerning the roles of women. As more women began working, the issue of balancing work and family became an issue. Women hoped for a successful career as well as a loving family to come home to, but as Kimmel mentioned, that wasn’t possible because men already had it. For this idea to become possible for women, their husbands were going to have to do something differently, such as share some of the housework and childcare. Because gender roles had sort of defined maintaining a successful career with a loving family to come home to as a masculine characteristic, it’s not surprising that men may seem reluctant to partially give up some of that characteristic to take on responsibilities that are commonly thought of as a woman’s. However, I was pleased to hear Kimmel share the results of some studies that showed that in households where men share the housework and childcare, the children generally do better in school, with lower rates of learning disabilities such as ADHD. Additionally, these men and their wives are generally happy and healthier than couples that do not share housework and childcare.

My favorite point that Kimmel made in his video, is that privilege is invisible to those who have it. I completely agree with this statement because those who have been privileged their entire lives are generally less aware and appreciative than those who have gained privilege through hard work. Kimmel makes a great point that men and women aren’t actually very different and in fact, function best as allies. He shows that men who embrace feminism rather than fight it are generally healthier, happier, have healthy and happy wives and children, as well as better sex lives. I found the last line of his lecture very powerful- ‘feminism will make it possible for the first time for men to be free.’